Purpose: View
Location: Ballet Flats
Liquid: Craft Beers
Success Rating: 5
Overview: So we decided to do a low key night and hit up the successful establishment from our Chocolate Love Affair. I guess what they say is true, lightning never strikes twice.
It was a cold night, so the place wasn’t that busy, and most people seemed to be partnered off. We grabbed a round and sat inside at the bar. KJ hated the band that was playing, so after grinding her teeth to nubs, we finally found a table and chairs on the heated patio. After some time, a group of guys walked in. KJ noted that the beard in the group was totally CK’s type and encouraged her to go in. Funny enough, they were in the same location that we found our Belgian friends. Unfortunately, they were not able to live up to the bar set by our beloved foreigners…
CK: KJ’s favorite band was playing a Pearl Jam cover, which anyone who knows me can tell you that anything Pearl Jam-related is a secret path to my heart. I approached the three guys (one married, one drunkard, and the aforementioned bearded fellow) and told them I’d give them a dollar if they could name the band that sings the song. Lucky for them (and you loyal readers), all three knew the answer right away, which ultimately allowed for this post to become a reality. After passing my Pearl Jam trivia challenge, the four of us made some small talk about music and recent shows we had seen. The guys seemed cool enough, so I herded them up and brought them to KJ and I’s table on the patio.
Of course, married dude was very cool and funny. He had initially given me a fake name, which I thought was great. Apparently it was his alter ego. The drunkard was boisterous but harmless enough, but it was becoming more and more clear that he was not handling his booze so well. Try as I might to talk to my bearded prey, drunkard wasn’t having any of it as he desperately tried to feign sobriety and monopolize my attention all in the same breath. Epic fail on his part, but at least he was entertaining. Some small snippets of multiple conversations ensued among the five of us for the next hour or so. Nothing too interesting to report, although in their defense, I do believe the beard had a girlfriend, and drunkard was very obviously fading fast. Some highlights:
- Beardy asked me to steal one of the bar’s pint glasses for him, which I completed.
- I also may have slipped my number written on a piece of paper into the glass before giving it to him at the end of the night… Shocking news flash!! Guess who never called??
- KJ: She wasn’t trying to be a home wrecker. We didn’t know he was taken until the very end.
- Drunky, in a brief moment of clarity, inquired as to why I had approached them in the first place. I told him it was this new thing I was trying; you know, approaching new people at the bar rather than waiting for them to approach me. I did not disclose the blog as these guys were not worthy of learning KJ and I’s secret. (J)
- He and I then got into a heated debate about my reasoning behind my approach. He called BS on men not coming up to talk to me, to which I immediately countered with a simple question of fact: “How many guys do you think have hit on me tonight?” He guessed 7—true answer: zero, zilch, nada.
- He then admitted, quite frankly, that all three guys found me to be extremely intimidating, and that they all thought I was playing some mean trick on them when I first approached. Really guys??? A cute girl comes over to talk to you and the first thing you think of is that she is mocking you??? No wonder there are so many damn single women in this world!
- KJ: This is sad, and something I can see them worrying about. I mean, I am sure the ladies have been in the same position. When a 10 chats you up, you have at least a small second where you look for hidden camera. Damn you middle school!
- I also may have slipped my number written on a piece of paper into the glass before giving it to him at the end of the night… Shocking news flash!! Guess who never called??
As we went to wrap up the night, closing out our tabs, Drunky came up to me and told me we should all go back to his place to keep the party going… I obviously declined. Sorry dude – not your smoothest move I am sure…
KJ: CK has done a pretty awesome job wrapping things up here. One part she left out…when CK was in the bathroom, the convo went down like this:
- Drunk: “Think CK likes me?”
- KJ: Obviously not. “I don’t know. You should ask her.”
- Drunk: “I like her.”
- KJ: “Yeah, that was pretty obvious.”
- Drunk: “How about the four of us come back to the house, drink some Captain Morgan, and we can bone.”
- KJ: “OK, NEVER ask a girl back to your house to ‘bone’. In fact, never ask a girl to your house the night you meet her. Unless she invites you, just assume it isn’t going to happen. And two, Captain is not a sexy drink. What do you think we are, 20?”
Lessons Learned:
- According to drunky, most men will not approach a girl at the bar, no matter how interested they might be. I don’t know why this is, but it might be the only valid point he had all night.
- KJ: Or he is a pansy and needs copious amounts of liquor to make him social. Let’s all hope that is the reason.
- Expect the unexpected: the good news is that it’s getting easier and easier to approach men; CK’s fear of rejection has hit an all-time low…Bad news is that the new found boldness may result in the receipt of awkward unsolicited invitations to hang out in the wee hours of the night with random men who should clearly have gone to bed hours earlier.